Adoption

The crazy thing about adoption is the waiting. I would have never guessed there would be so much waiting. And while normally I can just kind of roll with it, it is days like today, that would be Father's Day, when the wait becomes quite a bit harder.

See, the mind has this quirky ability of going all merc on you. You can't exactly control where it is going and what it is going to come up with.

Take today for example.

Eh...maybe I should back up a bit.

A little history on this whole situation is as follows: My wife and I decided we were going to adopt a couple of years ago. We first started in an international program, but basically there was a bit of difference in opinion between myself and Russia on the stabilizing effects of anti-depressants. So, my wife and I decided to point ourselves toward in-state adoption. It has been somewhere in the realm of two years since we first started this whole crazy thing. And as of a couple of weeks ago, my wife and I finished off putting together our 'Dear Birthmother' packate. So we are now officially waiting. Anyway, back to today.

Today for example, I started kind of wondering if my kid had been born yet. I'm guessing that he or she hasn't. But you never really know. Maybe tomorrow I'll get a phone call saying my son or daughter is waiting at a hospital to come home. That is the part that is pretty much unreal about the whole thing. You just never know.

Talking with my dad this year about Father's Day, he told me about the day I was born. It was a perfect day he said. And he talked about how I was born and just how his life pretty much changed from that day on.

And it got me kind of thinking about my own situation. The whole parenting thing is kind of a trip...I was an only child basically and so the only kind of experience I had with babies or young kids are with nieces and nephews. And while I'm excited about being a parent, there is all the underlying fears about having a kid and all of these brand new things that you can never really be prepared for becoming a part of your life.

So, it kind of got me wondering if little Ost Jr had burst onto the scene.

If you have shown up kiddo, welcome. Don't really know what to tell you yet. It is kind of hard having never seen you. I've heard that about males that are adopting...they aren't usually able to claim ownership of a kid until they have seen him or her. At least I know I'm normal, I guess.

If you haven't shown up just yet, don't worry. There are plenty of perfect days left in the bag.